Thoughts and Reflections: The Loving Kindness of Forgiveness

By Richard Mabey Jr.


For eight years, I worked as a Security Officer for a large, gated community in Central Florida. Most of my duties surrounded upon spending my days in a small, gatehouse, checking people in as they entered the development. I was given a wonderful opportunity to come to know, in the spirit of friendship, many of the people who lived in the area that my gatehouse served as a check point.


It was very interesting that people would often share their feelings and reflections about their loved ones back up north. Often times, I found it amazing. I was very disheartened to hear an elderly man tell me how much he was disappointed in one of his children for not accomplishing more in life. Or, talk about how upset someone was that their grandson did not get accepted to a certain college, that if only he had studied more. And on and on it would go.


It is not always easy to forgive. Sometimes it is one of the most difficult things that a person will ever need to do in their entire lifetime. But forgiveness melts the hardened heart. It frees the heart and mind of the person who has been holding a grudge. Sometimes, holding bad feelings for another person for many years.


Forgiveness can cure the frightening panic of having nightmares. It can play a role in physical healing, particularly in the arena of high blood pressure and digestive disorders. When a person forgives someone, hard feelings and anger can melt away like a wax crayon setting upon a picnic table on a hot, summer’s day. Forgiveness is a powerfully positive act of kindness.


I once knew two elderly women, who were sisters. They held deep resentments against each other. It was all over the will that their parents had left. The one sister felt strongly that she was short changed. When the one sister went Home to be with the Lord, the sister who felt she was short changed by her parent’s will, cried so hard, at the funeral party, that her body went into minor convulsions.


It wasn’t so much that she was mourning the passing of her sister. Rather, this elderly woman deeply regretted how she treated her sister for decades. The two sisters hardly ever talked, even on the telephone. They rarely, rarely ever saw each other, and they both lived in the same small town. They never exchanged birthday or Christmas gifts with each other.


The truth of the matter is that all we have is this moment in time. None of us have a guarantee that we will see tomorrow. And, sadly, sometimes tomorrow is too late. All we have is this present moment.


If you find yourself holding a resentment, bad feelings, and anger over something that another person has said or done to you in the past, please do consider forgiving that person of their wrong doing. It’s not easy. By no means is it easy. But it will free your heart, it will melt away sweltering resentments, it will allow your body to function in a more healthier manner.


No, it is not always easy to forgive someone who has done you wrong. But for the most part, forgiving someone is all so much better than holding a deep resentment against that individual. For none of us have a guarantee for tomorrow.


Richard Mabey Jr. is a freelance writer. He can be reached at Please reference “Thoughts and Reflections” on the subject line.

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